So, You Want to Go to College
After four years at Arcadia University, four years over 2,500 miles from home, four years working multiple minimum wage jobs, and four years taking classes at a very small school, I have many thoughts about my college experience.
While my time in college truly does not give me the merit to suggest how anyone else’s college experience will be, the piece you are about to read is something that I think my past self would have enjoyed reading before I decided to go to college. Here, I want to describe what my college experience has truly been like. What I wish I knew before making this decision, and things I may have done a bit differently.
Being from Bend, Oregon; my first time ever stepping foot in Pennsylvania, let alone on campus, was on move-in day. I remember everything very clearly. The athletes ran up to our rental car saying “This is all you have?” when they took out my two checked bags and ran them to my room. The Great Room was full of people I didn’t know, who I would soon know so well, handing out keys and goodies representing their offices. I even remember sitting at our first, very bad, cafeteria lunch that only served as a cheap way to provide likable food to a lot of people.
I was sitting with my Dad when I said “I don’t really think I care if I make any friends here, I kind of just want to put my head down and learn.” Of course, he explained that I would need friends and that I’d likely stumble into some weather if I liked it or not. But, for a while, that truly was my goal. I knew coming to college that I wanted to attend medical school and I already had all of the steps mapped out to get accepted without taking a gap year. My reason for paying for college was to get into medical school, not to make friends.
I was very lucky to have one of the best roommates I could have asked for. We did not know each other before moving in, and I am very happy to say that we are still quite close. I’m sure she will even be at my wedding one day. But looking back on my experience at Arcadia, or college in general, if I had truly not cared about having any friends, everything would have looked much different.
It sounds quite trivial and obvious, but you seriously do need friends. I had my roommate and everyone she brought along with her. We were both enrolled in the First Year Study Abroad Experience (FYSAE) at Arcadia before we even met, so we got to stay as roommates in London. My whole first year I had such a close group that I didn’t even know what it would be like to not have them in my life.
Of course, that was until sophomore year. I was accepted a Resident Assistant (RA) position on main campus while all of my non-RA friends moved over to the Oak Summit Apartments. It wasn’t that bad at first being so separated since we ran into each other often on campus. But then I got another job, they got internships, they turned 21 while I stayed underaged, and eventually, the Medical College Admissions Test (MCAT) came along. I kept having to deny invites to focus on my medical school applications, exactly as I said I wanted to move in day. Eventually, the invites stopped and I barely even noticed because I was working or studying almost constantly. By the time my intense coursework and job schedule slowed down, we all went abroad for the second time during our Junior Spring in different countries. Before we all knew it, I had essentially disappeared from my friends for almost two years.
The entire time I knew I was a bit lonely at college, but still too focused on getting into medical school to really reflect on those feelings and where they came from. Beginning my senior year, having an acceptance into medical school and the thickness of the application cycle behind me, I finally started seeing everyone more frequently. It was then that I began to realize how lonely I truly was, and honestly still am. I am still on main campus as an RA and at this point, they have had their own roommates for three years. In a small way, I am still an outsider. But in more important ways, I have reconnected with the people on this campus who care about me. I have even managed to find people on main campus who I care about too.
The overarching theme of this very important example is that college is truly what you make of it. You are in complete control of what your experience turns out to be, no matter how satisfied or dissatisfied you may feel about where you are at in life or school. I know this may sound like a jump to imply such grand results from a simple example of having friends, but when it comes down to it, my disconnection stemmed from the choices I made to put my head down and not focus on what really mattered. Ultimately, I just didn’t know yet what was truly more important: studying, or maintaining friendships.
After four years, I say friendships are the most important thing. The one thing I would urge everyone not to forget about. Of course, your academics are why you are here and you need to be preparing yourself for whatever life you begin after you graduate, but if you surround yourself with the right group of people, they will understand that and support you through it. My unmerited advice is to find true deep friendships and hold on to them with everything you can.
NOTE: I recognize that this blog ended up a little off of my original prompt, but let me know if you still think it works. I can attach some pictures of us together if I can find any haha.
